He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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