Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
