Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
