Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
