I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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