I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize