Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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