if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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