Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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