wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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