So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
