Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
