I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
