So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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