i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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