omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
