nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
