He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
