Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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