He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
