I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
