You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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