If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
third nipple confirmed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
