I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize