Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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