We're like a lot better than the average bears
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
