It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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