I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
