so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
"it" just moved
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
