Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize