I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
