I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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