we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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