I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
