Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The police scanner is talking about you again....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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