I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.