She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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