Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+34): Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/qh3w

Replies (16) Good night (4221) Bad night (653)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks http://tfl.nu/79xy

Replies (36) Good night (1221) Bad night (5867)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix http://tfl.nu/hrwb

Replies (22) Good night (820) Bad night (3048)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it http://tfl.nu/o2df

Replies (33) Good night (9267) Bad night (1206)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8

Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (2605)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep http://tfl.nu/b11i

Replies (8) Good night (1855) Bad night (785)
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team http://tfl.nu/crbx

Replies (3) Good night (1375) Bad night (512)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot http://tfl.nu/9cq3

Replies (5) Good night (1419) Bad night (498)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away. http://tfl.nu/v47s

Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (716)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off? http://tfl.nu/hj8l

Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (517)
Favorite
(260): View more from Indiana

Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(260): Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you. http://tfl.nu/7qhe

Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (275)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu

Replies (6) Good night (1327) Bad night (228)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day. http://tfl.nu/lt26

Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (165)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer http://tfl.nu/pgrt

Replies (3) Good night (187) Bad night (815)
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible http://tfl.nu/sefo

Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (175)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: