Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.

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(661): Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though. http://tfl.nu/ww5c

Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (919)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

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(250): he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom... http://tfl.nu/aduc

Replies (80) Good night (1091) Bad night (6480)
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(361): View more from Texas

yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

(361): View more from Texas

I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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(361): yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable. (361): I just can't bring boyfriends home. http://tfl.nu/mnpp

Replies (29) Good night (1178) Bad night (4702)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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(515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj

Replies (15) Good night (6273) Bad night (1129)
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(417): View more from Missouri

My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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(417): My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/opsu

Replies (14) Good night (1146) Bad night (7880)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.

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(704): It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie. http://tfl.nu/rp9b

Replies (8) Good night (4049) Bad night (1089)
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(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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(254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk

Replies (7) Good night (1810) Bad night (1022)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

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(617): Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/xmy8

Replies (4) Good night (2182) Bad night (967)
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(562): View more from California

it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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(562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt

Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (539)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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(302): Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you. http://tfl.nu/p99c

Replies (7) Good night (1511) Bad night (616)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment

(410): View more from Maryland

Thank god I got my shit together

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(203): Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment (410): Thank god I got my shit together http://tfl.nu/mezm

Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (546)
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(585): View more from New York

S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.

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(585): S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding. http://tfl.nu/j7eu

Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (1099)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.

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(307): he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with. http://tfl.nu/pnh0

Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (470)
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(315): View more from New York

He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...

(1-315): View more from New York

Hahah. That's good.

(315): View more from New York

I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...

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(315): He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand... (1-315): Hahah. That's good. (315): I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out... http://tfl.nu/bifv

Replies (5) Good night (375) Bad night (519)
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(805): View more from California

That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.

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(805): That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture. http://tfl.nu/lxlo

Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (352)

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