Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY