im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
