What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
