You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
