Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
