just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
