I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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