be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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