it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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