The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
