i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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