Duck Duck Cougar?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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