So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
