i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
