Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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