oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think i have two assholes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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