i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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