The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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