I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You're like the curious george of whores
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
