put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
