I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize