after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
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So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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