some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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